Another Hazy and Rainy Day in PCB

What is up with the wx (weather)? When the sky is gray and it is hazy, rainy, and chilly, my motivation is weakened; my spirit is dampened; and at the end of the day, I feel like a fat slob being inside the house all day. Yes, I could of get in the car and drive to the store(s) or the Mall and bored-shop but it's not my thrill. I have enough things, clothes, and more things...after having a child, I don't shop just to be shopping, just because I'm bored, or it's on sale...I am more conscious of how I spend money since diapers, formulas, wipes, and other baby necessities were so expensive. No one ever told me that those things are expensive and being a first time mom, I was naive and ignored the obvious when I was out and about shopping for baby stuff while I was pregnant. I could of save much money buying diapers and wipes on sale while waiting for K's arrival instead of waiting until the after arrival. I could write a book telling young, and first time moms of the things to buy, not buy, and so on. I could also let them know how their bodies changed, state of mind, and struggles within for the first three years or so of your baby's life. I know we're all different but we're all very much the same because we're moms first and everything else is secondary. Shifting in priority is the biggest change that many have problem adjusting. When moms who are continuing to be selfish, self-absorbed, and resentful, the children will suffer from the lacks of attention, care, love, and nutritional needs to grow into their beautiful and healthy selves. Just know that our children didn't ask to come into this biased and violent world, we asked for them...even the ones who arrived unexpectedly, they are results of our own actions or non-actions. We, the adult are accountable for our own action or non-action. We can't take it out on them because of their youth and inability to fight back. Trust me, there are days that I am so frustrated but I very quick realize that it's myself to blame not K...he's just being a kid and I am much much older; therefore, I should know or act better. It is easy to take it out on our children and blame them for our disposition but it takes special moms to see our purpose and our children's purpose in life. We all have purpose in this world. Nothing here is permanent; that's why they said "nothing good lasts forever". Until next blog. My best always, Serene

The Age of the Innocence

"Green Eggs and Ham" --- my son's new favorite DVD. He watched it about 5 times a day for the past week or longer. It's a good thing that it's only about 20 mns long. It never cease to amaze me how a child's mind works. Things that are so simple and insignigicant in our adult life seem so important and interesting to them. Being a child, they live for the moment; take it all in and enjoy them as if it's something new for the first time; have no future plans or aware of consequences of their action make them living life as if it's their last and enjoy life as if they're millionaires. All is so innocent and harmless. I wouldn't do anything to alter his now purity and carefree. Kids are supposedly live their youthful years without fears, worry, hardship, and security. Kids are not supposedly jaded by nasty and mean people in their lives who are selfish and self-absorbed. People who are set out to hurt children, parents who abuse and mistreat their own kids, and people who look away and not being protective guardians are ones who alter the innocence and purity in our children. The same people who are jaded our childrent's character and positions in life. It's saddened me to hear about children are being killed, molested, harmed, and abused daily on the news. I cried for the children and pray that when they are growing up, they won't blame themselves for what happened to them and have a healthy and productive life.

We only had 2 good days of nice and warm weather since the week of Christmas 2009. It's now cloudy, windy, chilly, and just plain ol' sad. I am so ready for the cold winter to be over. I am so ready for Spring and Summer. I am ready for it to be hot so I can go jogging and wear shorts and T-shirts again. Then again, we have much better weather than most other states. Until next blog. My best always, Serene

Why So Cold????

Man, this winter is the coldest ever since we've moved here back in Dec '07. For the past week, the wx temps have been from 32 to 45. Too cold even go outside let alone doing my routine exercise with my son. My hands are constantly freezing and I am wearing socks to keep warm. They say that it's supposedly snowing tomorrow. That'd be the first time K sees snow. I am sure that it'll be flurry not pouring. Nevertheless, it'd be nice to see a little flurry white on top of the not-so-green- grass. I am feeling out of shape, lazy, and unmotivated. K is getting tired of his same routines inside the house so we've been entertaining one another. More or less, I've been the one who do the most keeping him entertain. Spring is not coming fast enough. I need to shed the Holidays' pounds and back in my shorts. Until next blog. My best always, Serene

Special Person

These are my aunt Betty and uncle Bob by marriage. Aunt Betty accepted me and loved me as I am since the first day that we met in 2002. She was not critical or judgemental. She was very accepting and loving. She was funny, witty, straight forward, persistance, and very spunky. She was nothing but ordinary. She said what she meant and meant what she said. She didn't care what others thought because she had her own ideas and style of how she lived her life. She made my uncle Bob very happy. My uncle told me that he accepted her passing because he knows that she is no longer suffering and in pain...he knew that it's her time to go because she was very weak and was not able to recognize him the last week of her life. It's still tough and unimaginable of what he's going through. I wish we could have been there for him and comfort him in person.

They took great care of each other for the past fortyteen years. They only had each other and they had a great and wonderful life together. Since the past year, her body was failing but her mind was still sharp. Uncle Bob was a her primary care person and never once he complained how hard the job was...all he said was he loved to take care of her. She remembered me still when we talked a few times on the phone. I told her that I love her and that I appreciated her for loving me. I also made sure that she knows how much she means to me in my letters. I love her as if she was my own aunt. We had a bond and special love that lasts a life time. I talked to Uncle Bob on Friday to check in on him. He didn't want to make me cry so he couldn't talk to me too long about her passing but he did say that he is very sad and in mourning...she is in Heaven now watching out for him and waiting for him to come home with her when it's his time. He told me that he was going to send me something of her because she wanted me to have it. I told him that he would make me the happiest person on earth because it would mean so much to me to have a part of her that she wanted to share with me. I cried and was speechless. I am anxious to see what he will send me in the mail.

I love you aunt Betty. Thank you for loving me, accepting me for who I am, never judge or criticize me. I know that she is healthy, happy, and whole because she is home in Heaven. I will see her again when my time comes. I am heart-broken and very sad because I am selfish wanting her to stick around for me and uncle Bob. Like uncle Bob, I accepted her passing because it's her time to be one of God's Angels. I forever love you aunt Betty. Until next blog. My best always, Serene

Thankful

I am thankful every day for the nice things and good people in my life. I am forever greatful for my husband, son, and Stinky. However, this year ... I am most thankful for my cousins (Chi Lan and her adorable 3 children, Darren, Tatum and her boyfriend Sam, and Huong), my Aunt and Uncle Six, and Uncle John. They were selfless and abandoned their own Christmas celebration to spend Christmas holiday with my family, mom and dad, and my brother and his family in FL. We have not seeing most them for more than 7 years, some more than 20 years. We had enough time to catch up and rebonded as if we never left each other side. Everyone is successful in their own right and life. I am sooo proud of each and everyone of them. We had nothing but the clothes on our backs about 29 yrs ago, struggled to survive in a new country, finally adapted to the new culture due to language barrier, and have come a long way to achieve such successes in our lives. Perseverance and Determination summed it up for my family. We vowed not to go backward but move forward with the opportunities and freedom that are given to us. I am so glad that we shared the Christmas holiday with them. This truly a memorable and blessed Christmas for everyone. So, I am most thankful this past year that I get to know my aunt, uncles, and cousins again. They brought more joy, laughter, and love to our family. Until next blog. My best always, Serene